History

Pirates: Totalus Rankium

by Rob and Jamie

History

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Latest episodes

Pirate Final!

October 21, 2026 · 28 min

So we get to the end! Only two pirates remain. But who will be crowned the ultimate pirate of the seven (actually two or three depending on definitions) seas!?
Pirate Semi 2

October 10, 2026 · 35 min

Our second Pirate Semi! Only one can go through to the final. Jamie and I take questions about the pirates from our wonderful patreons!
Pirate Semi 1

September 23, 2026 · 37 min

So we are in the first pirate semi (behave!) We have Blackbeard, Blackbart, Blackvane and Blackcondent. But who is the one who goes through? Our Patreons ask questions, and we answer!
Pirate Round 4

September 9, 2026 · 51 min

The final quarter final we have a close round of 5: Condent, North, Rackham, Kidd and Low go head to head. but only two can go through!
Pirate Round 3

August 26, 2026 · 1 hr 4 min

In the 3rd of the 4 rounds, we have Robin Hood Black Bellamy, Pirate King Vane, Gentleman Pirate Bonnet and Grandfather of piracy Avery. It is a round of death. only 2 can go through!

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Pirate Round 2

August 5, 2026 · 57 min

In the second round Black Bart goes up agianst Howard, Davies and Tew! All very good pirates, but only two can go through. (Thats two, not Tew. but maybe Tew)
Pirate Round 1

July 29, 2026 · 58 min

We start the rounds to see who is the best and most piratey pirate around! Blackbeard v Halesy v Bonney v Read! Which 2 will go through?
The Pirate Rounds - Draw

May 27, 2026 · 18 min

So we come to the end - and that means one thing! The Pirate Rounds! Let's see who the best pirate of them all is! In this short episode we draw the names.
30 William Fly

April 29, 2026 · 44 min

We come to our last pirate! William Fly is often considered the last pirate of the Golden Age. But why Fly? did he do something amazing? Or was he a damp squib.
29 Francis Spriggs

April 15, 2026 · 58 min

Ned Low was a bit of a git. But what about his right hand man? Well, probably a git as well. but maybe in a different way? find out!
28 Ned Low

April 1, 2026 · 1 hr 15 min

We come to one of the most vicious of all pirates in the golden age. But was this a myth? Was he really that bad? And did he just want to be a lumberjack? Also: Link to Marco's graphic novel mentioned in the episode…
27. John Philips

March 18, 2026 · 1 hr 1 min

So, we don't get much on John Philips, but we do get a man to talk about him whose family we have come across before! Can you guess who? Can Jamie?

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About the show

Lighthearted history podcast ranking all of the Golden Age Pirates. Brought to you by the same people who created Roman Emperors Totalus Rankium and American President Totalus Rankium