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The Offensive

by Stak

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Latest episodes

Episode 164 - Smit Happens

October 31, 2022 · 26 min

Unfortunate news regarding Head Coach Eric Van Smit forces the club to make a decision. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit Acushla-Tara Kupe as…
Episode 163 - Grand Pricks

October 24, 2022 · 21 min

Ashwood City Chairman Patrick Nolan M.B.E and Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall fly to Austin, Texas, to enjoy the US F1 Grand Prix. But the situation surrounding Club Doctor Rachel Webber provides an unwanted distraction from the…
Episode 162 - Universally Challenged

October 17, 2022 · 21 min

During a dull Premier League fixture away to Chelsea, Ashwood CIty Chairman Patrick Nolan is offered a role within His Majesty's Government that could potentially allow him to gain the respect he so desperately desires. Paul Waggott as…
Episode 161 - Flaw and Order

October 10, 2022 · 22 min

Senior management at Ashwood City attend a pre-hearing for the legal clash with Arsenal Football Club, as the fallout from the final day of the 2021/22 season continues to engulf the club in financial and legal turmoil... Paul Waggott as…
Episode 160 - Name and Shame

October 3, 2022 · 23 min

For the first time in its history, the Ashwood City Stadium has changed its name courtesy of a new revenue stream secured by Chairman Patrick Nolan MBE. The fallout from this momentous chapter in the club's history is hostile, to say the…

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Episode 159 - Lever Pitch: Part Two

September 19, 2022 · 26 min

It's the day of the funeral for Queen Elizabeth II. In a momentous occasion for both the club and country, an opportunistic Patrick Nolan decides to showcase Dartley Park to a potential buyer. The Offensive will return after the…
Episode 158 - Lever Pitch: Part One

September 12, 2022 · 23 min

It's a momentous day in Ashwood City's history as they travel to the Nou Camp to take on Barcelona in the UEFA Champions League... The historic occasion is somewhat spoiled by a deepening financial crisis at the club. Paul Waggott as…
Episode 157 - Toon Can Play At That Game

September 5, 2022 · 29 min

Ashwood City are the visitors at St James' Park in a must-win game for the Super Whites. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall & Kieran Broom John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas…
Episode 156 - Deadline Day

August 29, 2022 · 21 min

League form has never been worse, their Head Coach has finally been charged by the police and a multitude of other crises emerge... Ashwood City are feeling the heat as Deadline Day approaches. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty…
Episode 155 - A New Leaf

August 22, 2022 · 21 min

Ashwood City Chairman Patrick Nolan and CEO Chris 'Woody' Woodall enjoy the facilities of Broadley Country Club. All is not as it seems, however, as Patrick confides in his Chief Executive. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as…
Episode 154 - Apportunity Knocks

August 15, 2022 · 21 min

Ashwood staff are impressed with the delivery of a summer project by the new Ashwood City Chief Executive Officer. An envious Patrick Nolan sets out to undermine all the hard work done by Chris 'Woody' Woodall and the rest of the…
Episode 153 - 2022/2023 SEASON: The Nolan Era

August 8, 2022 · 29 min

Premier League football returns as Ashwood City host Fulham at Dartley Park. Chairman Patrick Nolan M.B.E is eager to kick off the new era with a bang, whilst newly appointed C.E.O Chris 'Woody' Woodall concentrates on cleaning the mess…

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About the show

An award-winning, critically acclaimed mockumentary podcast that follows fictional Premier League club Ashwood City FC. 'The Thick of it meets Fifa career mode - a must listen for football fans' - The Guardian 'Ultra-sharp satire' - GQ This podcast is a serial, begin at Episode 1. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.