Fiction

Oz 9

by Gated Galaxies

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Latest episodes

BONUS: The Garden of God's Retirement

September 13, 2026 · 20 min

So, turns out our horny —sorry, "horned" — romantic Pluto has siblings. And like all siblings, they're annoying, disruptive, omniscientish, and likely to go darting off through space at something approaching light speed just to show off in…
Interviews with yer ever-lovin' Crew: Aaron (heeeeee's baaaaaaaaack)

August 29, 2026 · 26 min

It's frankly annoying how much y'all have missed this guy (and yes, we get it, we missed him too). "When's LBF coming back?" We heard you cry. "Bring back the Frounch dude!" FINE. The silly meter just shot from 11 to infinity and you've…
Interviews with yer ever-lovin' Crew: Pete (we love that guy)

July 24, 2026 · 43 min

First, if you haven't listened to Mission: Rejected, seriously, do you read these notes EVER? We've mentioned that show a brazillion times, so just GO LISTEN ALREADY. Look, I'll even make it easy for you: here is their website…
Interviews with your ever-lovin' Crew - Kevin

July 23, 2026 · 29 min

Hmmmmmm? Wazzat? Oh, hello, are you still here? Goodness, you are patient. Yes, season 7 is still in the works. Here's a little something to tide you over until it splooches messily into your timeline. This is one of those silly…
Interviews with yer ever-lovin' Crew: Tim and Chrisi

June 2, 2026 · 1 hr 1 min

More 9ers because let's face it: little in life is as satisfying as someone else's world spiraling utterly out of control as they get deeper and deeper into a festering bog-swamp of bad decisions and regret. Tim has an excuse -- it was…

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Interviews with yer ever-lovin' Crew: David and Bonnie

May 1, 2026 · 1 hr 2 min

Well, I'd say the fun never ends with this crew, but in truth, empires have risen, fallen, risen again, fallen again, and risen a third time to cries of "good god, will you just stay dead" and we're all still waiting for the fun to START…
Interviews with yer ever-lovin' Crew: Eric and Shannon

April 12, 2026 · 51 min

Who doesn't want to spend more time being utterly confused by the Idiots of Oz 9? Don't answer that. PUT YOUR HAND DOWN. Sarah Golding, who has zero time left in her busy days, couldn't resist adding one more spicy meatball to her heaping…
episode one hundred & five: Clara? Mein little Kartoffelpuffer?

December 24, 2024 · 32 min

NOTE: Stay tuned after the credits and all, for a trailer of a great new show: A Paladin's Bargain. You can listen to it in the usual places. You'll want to. Thanks as ever to Lucas Elliott for the new Narrators (or, Narrator and Tour…
episode one hundred & four: #GreatSatansBoletes

December 7, 2024 · 32 min

YOU have a dirty mind. "Satan's Boletes" doesn't mean *THAT*. Although it does translate to "Great Satan's Fun Guys," so maybe it's still worth a giggle, as Mrs S says. Welcome to episode 104. Please put your tray tables and seat backs in…
episode one hundred & three: A hungry, long-tailed weasel

November 23, 2024 · 25 min

Oz 9 recently turned six, and while most of the crew asked for a quick and painless death for their birthday wish, we're still here. (If you want to give us a prezzie, we do have a Patreon, just sayin'.....) Anyway, there are fun things…
episode one hundred & two: We're in space, Felber

November 10, 2024 · 26 min

Some old nemesisisisisisises have reappeared, and that's ... unfortunate. But at least Bob has some colourful brochures to distract our team from their impending doom. So.... how many oceans is "too many," do you reckon? You've been…
episode one hundred & one: "Crap" indeed. Meanwhile...

October 31, 2024 · 30 min

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Do you have ANY IDEA the literally dozens of hours you've wasted with this bunch of smooth-shelled walnuts? (and yes, that's a reference to their brains, I just couldn't quite make it work the way I wanted). I mean…

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About the show

It's Spring 2142 (a Tuesday), and Gated Galaxies has launched its 400 Oz-8000 ships, each carrying 50,000 "resting guests" to, hopefully, a new home on a shiny, brand-new planet. Except this whole "terraform and take over" idea isn't actually the plan; the real plan is far more nefarious and involves a great deal of cackling. But those aboard the ships don't know that, so off they toodle (those that make it out of Earth's atmosphere, at least), all shiny and optimistic. This is the story of one of those ships – the Oz 9 – and its tiny crew of hopeless incompetents. So far, they've been in space half an hour and several hundred people are dead. So... bright future, clearly.