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If Objects Could Talk

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Latest episodes

  • Small Snail in the Big Cities

    October 26, 2026 · 15 min

    This vase might be nearly 10 feet tall and weigh half a ton, but the snail who hangs around its base isn’t intimidated. This plucky guest will tell you all about their enormous home, and how it traveled to three World’s Fairs looking for a…

  • A Bed Story, Not a Bedtime Story

    October 19, 2026 · 13 min

    It’s hard to stay awake when you’re a luxurious, fluffy, silk-covered bed! Our leading lady will try, though, as she reminisces about the many, many hands who worked hard to make her. From the carpenter and gilder (yes, a person whose job…

  • A (Dragon’s) Brief History of Time

    October 12, 2026 · 13 min

    This great green dragon takes his position at the top of the clock very seriously. Accompanied by a monkey and a goose, these time guardians ensure there will be no “killing time” on their watch! To demonstrate the value of time, the…

  • A Griffin Sees It All

    October 5, 2026 · 14 min

    One giant blue orb dotted with stars, six griffins, 12 zodiac symbols, 18 candle holders, countless crystals—and even a bowl to fill with goldfish! Have you ever seen something so elaborate just hanging from the ceiling? This is the…

  • Resting Bust Face

    September 28, 2026 · 13 min

    Why is The Vexed Man making that scrunched up face? Has he tasted a lemon? Smelled a skunk? Nope—that’s just his thinking face! This intensely tense alabaster sculpture of a head is used to people staring and trying to do their own…

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  • Purrquoise the Traveling Cat

    September 21, 2026 · 14 min

    As soon as he arrived in Los Angeles, Purrquoise, the turquoise cat, was a star. But this charismatic kitty traveled a long way to get here! Made in China in the 1750s, he moved by ship to France, where he padded around with the rich and…

  • The Magnificent Microscope and the Fabulous Flea

    September 14, 2026 · 12 min

    It’s a knight! It’s a cat! No, it’s a…flea? Picture it: the French countryside, 1751. A young flea prepares for his moment in the spotlight—of a magnificent gold and sharkskin microscope. This compound microscope was the height of…

  • Coming Soon: Bastille Day (and Season 2)

    July 9, 2026 · 5 min

    Announcing Season 2, this mini-episode features Purrquoise, a bright turquoise porcelain cat that was made in China in the 1700s and has traveled the world ever since. Now that he’s made himself at home in Los Angeles, he’s ready to pitch…

  • (Rerun) Snake Charm on Your Arm

    March 6, 2026 · 10 min

    (Rerun) How does a snake bracelet celebrate her favorite holiday? Learn about gold jewelry, the meaning of snakes for ancient Egyptians, and the Roman holiday of Saturnalia from this snake who knows all the best secrets!   For a listening…

  • Going for Glory: A History of the Ancient Olympics

    February 2, 2026 · 13 min

    You probably know that the Olympics started in ancient Greece, but did you know that they started as just a single running race? Or that the athletes—all male—competed naked and covered in oil?  As the world gears up to watch athletes…

  • Introducing Constant Wonder Kids: Do Plants Think?

    January 26, 2026 · 17 min

    This season on If Objects Could Talk we imagined what would happen if museum objects could talk. But have you ever wondered if plants could talk?  To dig into this question, we’re sharing an episode from Constant Wonder Kids. Through a…

  • Your Ultimate Saturnalia Gift Guide!

    December 17, 2025 · 9 min

    From bad poetry and papyrus to candles and boar, give the gifts any Roman would love to receive with our Ultimate Saturnalia Gift Guide! (Cue the air horns.) In this special episode, a carved doll has combed the ancient literature to…

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About the show

What is Athena's owl doing in the Greek marketplace? How can a clock tell time in the dark? On If Objects Could Talk, art and artifacts leave the museum vault and come alive to share their side of the story. Featuring objects from the Getty Museum collection, each episode introduces listeners to the history, creation, and everyday use of incredible items like an Egyptian cat statue, a Rococo microscope, and a glass flask shaped like a fish. Voice actors and immersive sound design bring these historical fiction tales to life. Find coloring pages, discussion guides, and related activities on the pages for each episode. Visit our website for more resources: www.getty.edu/ioct.