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Childproof
by Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom
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Latest episodes
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Rewind & Repeat
October 21, 2026 · 53 minTori and Gwenna are bad at calendars, not at managing their own but at coordinating with each other. So this week we're revisiting some moments from Childproof past but next episode we'll be back. In the meantime, be sure to send us your…
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It’s All Millennials Fault. All of It.
October 7, 2026 · 46 minIf you don’t like this episode of Childproof, it’s probably our fault. Not because we’re the hosts and responsible for making this show listenable but because we’re millennials. We ruin everything else. Apparently. Listen, we’d love to…
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Parenting Linguistics?
September 23, 2026 · 49 minDo you call it a trolley, a buggy, or a cart? Soda, pop, or coke? On this episode of Childproof we discuss language quirks, regional dialects, and, just for a little bit, remember this is a parenting podcast and somehow pigeonhole our…
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Into The School Year
September 9, 2026 · 54 minEver feel like the days bleed together and you’re not sure how time works anymore? That’s how Tori and Gwenna felt most of the summer. Tuesday? What is that? Feels fake. But now that school is back in session, time has gone less wibbly…
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Are We Raising Villains?
August 26, 2026 · 46 minOn this episode of Childproof, Parasocial Parenting, we discuss if our kids are actually growing up to be villains and how to successfully tell our children they actually suck. (Well, not that they suck but that their book is really very…
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K-Pop Demon Hunters Backpacks Will Ruin Us
August 12, 2026 · 47 minIt’s our back to school not at all special perfectly regular episode because while the children are returning to school, we didn’t actually put any effort into making a special to celebrate. We’ve just been trying to survive the last…
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Summertime Sadness?
July 29, 2026 · 50 minHaving kids doesn’t magically make you immune to depression, seasonal or otherwise. And no one wants to believe you when you say summertime makes you sad. But we believe you. We believe you because we also get the summertime SADS. This…
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Facetime?
July 15, 2026 · 55 minToday's episode of Childproof is brought to you by Gwenna and Tori taking a little summertime break. Please enjoy hearing a preview of our preshows, we'll be back again with regular episodes next time. We want to hear from you! Do you…
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Baby Time?
July 1, 2026 · 47 minParenting via email. That’s what the podcast is now. And this episode covers chalk-covered mascots, a discussion on if we love our kids enough, when is the right time to have a baby (and no, neither of us is pregnant. Both of us are fixed…
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Toddlers & Teenagers
June 17, 2026 · 57 minOn this episode of Childproof: Parasocial Parenting we discuss mushroom allergies, mascots that are not in any way shape or form mascots but Gwenna nicknames everything inappropriately, and how toddlers and teenagers are alike but…
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Very Dangerous Butterflies
June 3, 2026 · 50 minThe start of summer means more kids everywhere. If your kids aren’t in school yet you have no sympathy. We understand. But ours are home and we love them very much and miss quiet things and alone time. Two things can be true. This episode…
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Mom's Got RBF
May 20, 2026 · 52 minThis week on Childproof’s Parasocial Parenting we’re talking about uniforms for motherhood (Spoiler: There isn’t one.), Gwenna’s pathological demand avoidance about a webtoon, Mom RBF, realistic expectations of becoming an adult, planning…
About the show
Parenting is hard, but it's even harder when you feel alone and have only the sounds of Cocomelon to keep you company. Childproof is a parenting chat show for when you’re craving adult conversation. As parents to three kids each, co-hosts Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom have been there. They know that sometimes our kids are the ones on the verge of a tantrum, and that sometimes it’s us. Childproof attempts to figure out the dos, don’ts, and f*ck its of modern parenthood. From yelling at your kids (we’ve all done it) to finding a sleep schedule that doesn’t ruin your life, Gwenna and Tori share the challenges they’ve faced and the lessons they’ve learned, and are eager to share their experiences through a mix of one-on-one conversations, guest appearances, and input from listeners revealing their own parenting secrets. Clearly, we could use some help from everyone and their mother.